How to fear less

Fear

We all have it. In fact, we all need it. Imagine your house was on fire and you casually and slowly started packing your belongings, then you decided to call for help, then you decided to roast some marshmallows. Look, unless you’re Superman you’d be dead before you even called for help. This is why when fear sets in everything in your body says, “I must get out or I’ll burn, and ouch it will hurt!”

We hear a lot of motivational quotes or people making resolutions to be “fearless” but trust me you don’t want to be fearless. It’s dangerous to not have any fear. You may not be able to remove fear from your path but you can overcome them.

Before we learn how to overcome fear we must understand that there are 2 types of fear we experience. There is the fear that protects you and the fear that paralyzes you.

There are 2 types of fear, the fear that protects you and the fear that paralyzes you.

The fear that protects:

Do you know the term fight or flight? Well, this is a real reaction our body has to protect us. When we sense danger, the brain reacts instantly, sending signals that activate the nervous system. This causes physical responses, such as a faster heartbeat, rapid breathing, and an increase in blood pressure. Blood pumps to muscle groups to prepare the body for physical action (such as running or fighting).

This stops you from making a rash decision, like leaning over the edge of a cliff, or sleeping with your pet tarantula

The fear that paralyzes:

When we feel paralyzed by fear, we find it hard to move, think clearly, and find ways of dealing with our fear. If we feel stuck it’s because we choose not to confront what is holding us back. Not all fear is protecting us. Some things that are making us freeze up or run away are just lies.

In order to differentiate between a protective fear and a paralyzing one, we’ve got to put the voices (fear) on the witness stand. Write down the fear and ask yourself “Is this thing true?” If it’s not true then you expose it and focus on the truth.

There have been studies that show that when we dwell on a thought our brain substantiates the thought, like the game spotto. Have you ever played the game spotto? It’s the game where you have to spot all the yellow cars. The funny thing is, even when the game is over you still find yourself noticing all these yellow cars. When we dwell on a lie for too long we allow it to overtake our minds and believe it as truth.

Ken Coleman shares 3 steps to overcoming fear (not eliminate it):

1. Identify your fear – Name and describe it. This exposes it and get’s it out of our scary minds to face it. You can do this by either writing out on a piece of paper to see the fear or you can share it with someone. Eg. “my heart is racing, I can’t breathe, there’s something wrong with me, I’m going to die, I’m not worthy”

2. Deconstruct the fear – fear is a liar. Ask yourself “is this fear truth?”. If this is the lie, then what’s the truth? The truth relaxes us, slows our heart rate, and allows us to breathe and think clearly.

3. Refocus on the truth – when the mind is focused on positive outcomes then the fear isn’t eliminated it just becomes really quiet. So have the truth upfront so you can overcome your fears with truth continuously. Write the truth on post-it notes and stick it on your mirror, in your car, or make it your home screen wallpaper on your phone.

Instead of aiming to be fearless, aim to be an overcomer. You can overcome the lies that are attacking you. You are not alone. You are strong. You are going to get through it.

Grab your free worksheet HERE to help you overcome your fears today!